The Sub Zero Vodka Bar Slinger Burger

Posted: February 25, 2010 in slinger, slinger burger, STL: Central West End
Tags: , ,

Ok, aside from a trip to Abslutli Goosed the night before, The 13 Blog wouldn’t be caught dead in a Vodka or Martini Bar.  That’s just not how we roll here.  The idea of paying $8 or more for a drink, well we find that a bit distasteful.  However, some very good people made a very convincing argument to get me out to Sub Zero Vodka Bar.

Andrew Veety runs a blog where he’s now on a quest for St. Louis’s

best hamburger.  He calls this The Church of Burger. He asked if I’d like to come along to Sub Zero this week for the monthly service.  Being a Q List blogger who craves acceptance, I was totally in.  I didn’t even care that I was going to drop twenty dollars on lunch….Yes I’m cheap.

So it’s rainy and cold, and of course I’m the first to arrive and I have no idea what anybody looks like, as I’m the new guy.  So, I’m wearing a paper thin fleur de lis hoody and my STL Style shirt, so I’d be recognized.  I wasn’t.

We all shuffle in and sit down and begin to order drinks.  Being a second guesser, I was wondering if there’d be alcohol involved….I didn’t want to look like a lush in front of serious St. Louis bloggers ya know?  So, they started ordering beer.  I ask for Schlitz…nope.  I then ask for a bourbon and coke.  The waitress asks me if Jack Daniels is ok.  Of course it’s not.  Jack Daniels is Tennessee Whiskey, not Bourbon Whiskey.  So I ask for rail bourbon.  I got Jim Beam (total so far $7.)

Now, I’m looking through the menu and I’m enjoying my bourbon and the conversation and I’m feeling comfortable.  I see this right here.


I had no intention of being the 13 Blog today.  I was just coming to have fun and meet new people, but now I’m on the job yo!  It’s kind of funny.  I’d never had a slinger burger before, and now I’ve had two in a row.  What the deuce man?  I close my menu and say, well, I know what I’m getting.  My tablemate says oh?  Yup, the slinger.  He says, well of course you would.  Damn.  These people do know me and apparently read this Q List blog…have I just moved up to P?

Next I hear someone asking for a Pepper Infused Bloody Mary….Well I had been wondering if a Bloody Mary would improve a Slinger….

So, I ordered one, and it was excellent.  I’m just delightful!  Perfect amount of spice, salt on the rim, two ginormous olives.  I really don’t know what else I could’ve asked for with this one!

So, now we get right down to it.  The Slinger.

It really doesn’t look much like a slinger does it? I mean….Umm…I see the egg and I see the bun and the fries…so, let’s give this a go shall we?

First we will dissect this.

Notice anything missing?  Where the hell is my chili?  I mean really?  Now, granted we had a very large group that day.  So I understand that it took awhile for me to get my burger, but by the time it arrived, I honestly couldn’t remember if it was supposed to have chili on it or not.

By the time I was about done with it though, I checked the picture I took of the menu, and yes it was supposed to have had chili.  They plum forgot about it.

Take a look at this.  Garden salad?  On my slinger burger?

Are you kidding me?

Also, regular readers I’m sure are waiting for this, were the hell are my onions?

I found them, but it was seriously, less little bits of red (RED?) onions on the side than you would get in a salad served in a beer bottle cap.  Trust me, if you look REALLY hard…well you still can’t see them…but I do seriously recall their existing.  The little bit I ate was tasty.  Now, due to the lack of chili or any other sticky bits in the burger, the salad part wouldn’t stay on.

As you can plainly see, there is a very good and generous portion of melted cheddar cheese on this burger.  I’m honestly having a hard time even thinking of it as a slinger burger, as they forgot the darned chili….so it was an egg burger!

I ordered my patty medium rare.  Here’s where the magic happened.  It was charred on the outside yet pink on the inside.  It was also cold and bland.  The most taste on this thing was the burned meat on the outsides.  Now, I order medium rare because burned meat taste like a foot.

Now, do you see the bun on this thing?  Looks sturdy right?

Well it’s not.  That thing had a structural malfunction and it blew up about half way through.  Have you ever had a bun dissolve while you were eating a burger?

I surely  had not.  So, I just have to say, the Sub Zero Slinger Burger was just made of fail.

Between my two drinks and this monstrosity, I paid over $30.  The conversation however, was priceless!

I also want to mention that as of today, my first slinger column is in St. Louis City Edition. Available at many locations for free in South St. Louis City. I’ll be picking mine up at Mangia Italiano on my way home.
The 13 Blog’s links: email, twitter, facebook, formspring, St. Louis City Edition

  1. Colin says:

    I was surprised to see Sub Zero had a slinger. But then it all made sense – it’s not a slinger.

    Great site, great STL info. Will be back!

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