Fish Fryday 2010 #1: The Epic Failure of St. Gabriel’s

Posted: February 22, 2010 in Fish Frydays, STL: St. Louis Hills
Tags: , ,

So here we go.  Here is the story of my epic failure on the first Fish Fryday.

Our plan was to go to St. Gabriel’s at 4711 Tamm Ave.  I put the address into my GPS. (Which is my BlackBerry.)  Now, after going to Pat’s Bar & Grill on Tamm Ave in Dogtown, I really think I know where I am going.  So, as I’m driving down Highway 40 from the office, it tells me to get onto 270 South.  I begin to think that the GPS is off its rocker.  So, I literally look at it and say “No, we’re not doing that.”  At which point, I sail right past the clusterpluck that is Interstate 270, all the while, the GPS is screaming at me.

So, I’m a certified genius right?  I mean, I have to know what I’m doing…right?

So, here’s the plan at this point.  Get to St. Gabe’s at 5:30pm, with my In-Laws waiting for me in line.  I mean, this is genius right?  The Church, that I certainly didn’t look for on google maps, is right off of Oakland Ave, so no worries.  After the Fish Fry, I have to shoot downtown to The Old Rock  House for a going away party.  I expect to arrive at there at 6:15pm.

So, back to it.  I’m driving down Forty.  Making great time.  After the GPS reroutes about 6 times, and I’m looking at it, damn right, son.  It says to get off at Hampton Ave, Exit 34D.  Again, I look at my GPS “We’re not doing that.”  We’ll take Hampton to Oakland to Tamm and I’ll be right there, on time and ready for fish, fries, and beer.

So, I drive down Oakland and get to Oakland and Tamm Ave.  (I’m thinking right now about how I’m so smart.)  I hang my left at Pat’s and drive down Tamm Ave.  I’m looking for this church.  I’m thinking about how it was that really big one we saw after getting the slinger a couple weeks back right?  Well, I’m passing that church and it’s not that one.

Then Tamm stops.

Uh oh.  I had stopped listening to the GPS, ages ago.  So, now I’m criss crossing all over myself, turning as fast as a down hill skier, and my BlackBerry GPS is not keeping up.  Eventually I end up at Manchester Ave, near Nick’sPub??? So I try to listen to the GPS.  I fail at that.

I end up looping around Hampton to Manchester about six times before I realize that the GPS wants me to take Hampton South….So I just do what the GPS says to do right?  So I’m driving down Hampton, and I cross over Chippewa.  I’m in St. Louis Hills it’s quarter to six.  I still have to wait in line…

As I’m getting closer and closer, my father in law texts me to let me know they are there and are hungry for fish.  (Well I was too and I was freaking out inside the car…)  I get into St. Louis Hills and I’m turning on streets I’ve never driven and I’m confused and hungry and now my blood sugar’s getting low.  Then the unthinkable happens….

My BlackBerry screent turned completely white and said “application error.”

???

I’ve never seen this before.  So, it won’t do a damned thing now.  It’s locked up tight.  I have do a batter pull, not much fun if you’re driving and the backdoor of your BlackBerry doesn’t work right…so I had to wait till I stopped.  I remembered some of what the map looked like, as it had stopped navigating before the full on F U of the application error.

So.  I arrive.  I park (on the wrong side of the church.)  I run across the street, in the rain.  I forget my camera.  I’m starving.  My phone’s taking a decade to reboot.  I can’t call anyone.  I see a sign that says dine in carry out gym entrance.  So, I figure that they’re in line.  So I go to the line for the gym.  My phone FINALLY reboots.  So I call my FIL.

I can’t get service.  I hear every 6th word he says.  I then text him.

I get in line.  I mean, he’s got to be in this line right?  So I wait it out and figure he’ll answer my text before too long.  Then  all of a sudden I’m paying.  I try to call him to tell him I’m paying and to tell me what he wants so I can get it.  Then there’s something about a carryout line.  I said, no I’m in the dine in line.

He asks me if we’re at the same church….

Uh oh.

He says he’s going to come and find me.  He does, holding a can of Busch beer that he got for free in the right line, and tells me that I’m in the carry out line.

Oh hell.

So we decide I’ll just get my fish and they’ll go elsewhere.  I have bollocksed this up like nobody’s business.  I was also denied a free beer, let’s not forget that little tidbit!!  So, I get my fish, I call our roommate to lend us some cat food in order to save 20 minutes, as my wife’s co-workers are asking when I’m arriving….

So…now…here I am…driving my five speed, and trying to eat a log of fish.  The worst part about this, the fish was great.  As I’m driving and eating this log, and it just tasted awesome.  I’d have loved to have savored and enjoyed it with like lemon or tartar sauce.

This is NOT easy!  Then I get to the going away happy hour, and of course I had to relate my tale of failure about 10 times.  Then I had to relate it again on Sunday and then I had to face the in laws when we went out to eat on Sunday night.

I mean really?

Next up: Sub Zero’s Slinger Burger, followed by another Fish Fryday, then another slinger post that’s TBD.

The 13 Blog’s links: email, twitter, facebook, formspring, St. Louis City Edition

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